Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
