Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
