I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
