Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
