so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
