new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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