sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
