She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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