i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
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