Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
