You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
