I need help removing her.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
