I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
