the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
