mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
