I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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