I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
