problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
