shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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