I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I cockslap morals
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize