I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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