Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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