I love black thongs
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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