it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
