So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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