Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
