I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
