she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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