It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
