her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
