There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
