our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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