so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
