just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
