You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
