do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
