thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
