Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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