He asked to "fluff my boner.."
4 words: hood of his car
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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