You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
