Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
