so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
