Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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