This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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