wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize