I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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