Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
