Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
