You really coming over, don't trick.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize