i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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