So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
