3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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