Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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