After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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