And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think a kid would responsible me up
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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