I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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