I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
