I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
