69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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