In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
