Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
