this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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