I'm lost and stupid without you.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
