Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
