dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
