Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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