I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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